What Is the Old Lady Name in the Proud Family

Существует множество коротких рассказов, с которыми мы тысячу раз сталкивались, читали детям в виде аудирования или задавали для чтения и помним их сами почти наизусть. А книжку или распечатку утеряли. Да и не очень они нам интересны: избиты, зачитаны. Но для детей не избиты. Поэтому посвятим одну рубрику на блоге коротким рассказам для учащихся.  Если вы помните  сборник или авторов рассказов, которые помещены в этой статье — напишите, пожалуйста, чтобы можно было сослаться на источник.

'TEA LEAVES'

There was a time when drinking tea was nearly unknown in European countries; many people had never even heard of tea. This anecdote is about an old woman and her son, who lived before tea-drinking became popular in England.

He was a body of water captain, and every fourth dimension he returned from a far-away country, he brought his female parent a souvenir. He tried to bring something unusual, that she could show to her friends.

Once the young man came dorsum from India with a box of tea for his mother. She didn't know anything about tea, but she was proud of her son, and she invited all her friends to come up and try what he had brought her. When her son came into the room, he saw cakes and fruit and jam on the table, and a big plate full of brown tea-leaves. His mother and her friends were sitting circular the table, eating the leaves with butter and table salt. Though they all smiled, it was articulate that they didn't enjoy eating the leaves.

«Where is the tea, Mother?» the captain asked.

His mother showed him the plate in the center of the table.
«Nosotros are having tea for dejeuner», she said.

«No, no, those are merely the tea-leaves», said the cap­tain. «Where is the water?»
«The h2o!» his mother said. «I threw the water away, of course!»

'ECONOMY WASTED TRIP'

An Englishman who was in France wanted to go back to England by sea. But he had very little coin. He had and so little coin that he could pay only for the ticket. As he knew that the trip would last simply two days, he decided non to eat during these days.

Equally he took a ticket and got on the ship the next morning he tried not to hear the bell for breakfast. When dinner fourth dimension came, he was very hungry; but he didn't go to the dining-room. In the evening he was still more hungry, simply when the waiter came to invite him to have supper, the Englishman said that he was ill.

The next day the Englishman was half-dead and couldn't stand up the hunger whatever longer.

«I shall go and eat even if they boot me out into the sea», said he to himself.

So he went to the transport dining-room and had his dinner.

In the evening he had supper but was very much agape of his time to come because he didn't pay for the meals.
At concluding he addressed the waiter and said: «Bring me the bill, please».

«What bill?» asked the waiter.

«For the supper and dinner I had in your dining-room».

«Don't trouble, Sir. You paid for your meals when you bought the ticket».

'A Skillful LESSON'

One solar day a well-known singer was invited to the house of a rich lady to sing to her guests at a dinner-party. But instead of inviting the vocalist to dine with her guests, the lady ordered dinner for him in the servants' room. The vocalist said cypher. He dined well and after dinner said to the servants: «Now, my skilful friends, I am going to sing to you».

The servants were very much surprised but said they were awfully glad to have a chance to hear the great vocalist. He sang a good many cute songs and the servants enjoyed listening to him.

Later the lady sent 1 of her servants to bring the singer up to the drawing-room, where all her guests were waiting for him.

«Merely I cannot sing twice in one evening, Madam», said the vocalist to the lady when she met him at the door leading into the drawing-room.

«What practise you hateful?» asked the lady.

«I mean I have already sung for about an hour to your servants, Madam», answered the vocalizer, «it was a pity you lot were not there, for I always sing to the people with whom I dine». And with these words he left the house.

'A HOT Summertime WEEK-END'

It was a week-end in summer and all the down trains were overcrowded. An old man was walking along the platform, looking for a vacant seat. Suddenly he saw one in a non-smoker. The old man got in. A small-scale bag was lying on the seat and a well-dressed admirer was sitting abreast it.

«Is this seat vacant?» asked the old man. «No, information technology is occupied by a man who has gone to buy a newspaper. He will soon come up».

«Well», said the old man, «I'll sit here until your man comes dorsum». X minutes passed.

«There is but one infinitesimal left before the railroad train starts. Your human being volition miss the train if he doesn't hurry», said the old human being.
The railroad train started.

«Your man has missed the railroad train», said the old man, «but let him non lose his bag».

With these words he took the bag and was nigh to throw it out of the window.

The well-dressed admirer jumped up and cried out: «Don't! Information technology's my bag».

'A FUNNY STORY'

A nervous human being, who lived in one of suburbs of a large town in England, was walking home from the railway station. The road was dark and lonely. Suddenly he heard footsteps budgeted him from backside and idea he was beingness followed. He walked rapidly. The footsteps continued to follow. The man started running. The footsteps still followed him. The man jumped over a wall and, running into an old cemetery, threw himself on the grass near i of the graves.

«If he comes here», he idea, «at that place will be no dubiety he wants to rob me».

The human behind was post-obit. He also got over the wall and came up to the grave. The nervous homo stood up and asked:

«What practise yous want? Why are yous following me?»

«I say», answered the other man, «do y'all always go domicile like this?
Or are yous having some special sort of jumping, exercises tonight?
I am going to Mr. Ro­bertson'due south and the homo I at the railway station told me to follow you, as you lived next door. Excuse my asking you, only will you have some more gymnastics or volition yous go straight home?»

«A SAD STORY»

Three men were spending their holiday in New York. They were living in a hotel which had xl-v floors and their room was on the last floor.

Returning to the hotel tardily 1 nighttime, they were told by the elevator man: «I am very lamentable, but the lifts in our hotel aren't running. They finish working at twelve o'clock. Y'all must walk up to your room».

«We are yet young», one of the men said. «I suppose nosotros, can climb up to the forty-5th floor». Then the men took off their coats and put them in the coat-room. Equally they were walking past the tenth flooring 1 of the men said: «I am condign a petty tired. I have an idea how to make the climb easier. I shall tell happy or funny stories the side by side v floors: then Bill will sing songs the adjacent xv floors, and Tom volition tell sad stories the last xv floors».

They continued climbing, and soon all of them were feeling very tired. But they did non want to bear witness to each other that they were tired, and so the first human being told happy stories, and jokes and the second sang happy songs. When they arrived at the thirtieth flooring, the first man said: «At present, Tom, yous tin begin telling sad stories».

«Yes», Tom said, «I must tell yous a very distressing story. The fundamental to our room is lying in my coat pocket, in the coat-room!»

'A FISH BONE'

I day, some Americans were having dinner at a hotel in London. When the fish was put on the table, a swain said: «Allow's examine the fish carefully. Perhaps nosotros'll discover a diamond in information technology». Everybody began to laugh, but an one-time man said quietly: «Yes, I'thousand sure we accept all heard such stories. Let me tell you what happened to me once».

«When I was a fellow», he began, «I worked for a big company in New York: and I was sent to England to practice some work there. I was in honey with a beautiful girl, and before I left for England, we decided that nosotros would be married when I returned habitation.»

I stayed in England for two months. I sent letters or postcards to the girl almost every day, merely after the offset two weeks I didn't receive whatsoever answers. But I didn't remember anything was the matter, and before I left for dwelling house, I bought a cute diamond band for her.

On the ship one morning, a telegram was brought to me. It was from a friend in New York, who told me that the daughter had changed her listen and was going to be married to another man. I was so angry that I threw the diamond ring into the body of water. My friend came to the port to meet me, and he invited me to dinner. When we were sitting downwardly at the table and I was eating fish, I suddenly felt something difficult in my oral cavity. What do y'all think it was?

«The diamond!» all the Americans cried.
«No», the old man answered. «Information technology was a fish bone».

'THE KING AND THE CRITIC'

There was a king who idea that he could paint very well. His pictures were bad, but the people to whom he showed them were afraid of the rex. They all said that they liked his pictures very much.

One day the king showed his pictures to a not bad painter who lived in his state and asked:

«I want to know what you think of my pictures. Do you similar them? Am I a good painter or not?»

The painter looked at the rex'southward pictures and said:

«My male monarch, I think that your pictures are bad, and that yous volition never be a adept painter.»

The king got very angry and sent the painter to prison house.

Later on two years the king wanted to see the painter again.
«I was angry with you», he said, «because you did non similar my pictures. Now forget all about it. You are a free man again and I am your friend.»

For many hours the rex talked with the painter, and even asked him to dine. After dinner the king showed his pictures to the painter and asked: «Well, how exercise you like them now?»

The painter did not answer annihilation. He turned to the soldier who was continuing well-nigh him and said:

«Take me back to prison.»

"Most CONAN DOYLE"

There is probably no one among book-lovers who has non heard of Sherlock Holmes, the skilful and clever detective in the stories by Arthur Conan Doyle.
Sherlock Holmes's method of analysing the most difficult issues was to observe the smallest facts, even if they seemed unimportant. His method never failed; the criminal ever had to give up, and to become the prisoner of the nifty detective.

Conan Doyle once arrived in Paris, later spending a month in the s of France. In that location was a long row of cabs outside the gate of the railway station. Conan Doyle got into the first cab and ordered the driver to accept him to a proficient hotel. The driver was silent all the way to the hotel, but when Conan Doyle paid him, he said, «Thanks, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle».

«How do you know who I am?» Conan Doyle asked in the greatest surprise.

«I accept never seen you before», the man answered, «so I tin can't pretend that I recognized you lot. Just I read in the newspapers that you were expected in Paris subsequently your vacation in the southward of France. The train you arrived on came from the due south of France.
I could tell from your wearing apparel, particularly your hat, and also from the strange way you pronounce French words that yous were English. These facts helped me to guess that you were probably Sir Arthur Conan Doyle».

«Fine work! Wonderful!» Conan Doyle cried. «You lot analysed the facts quite correctly. Information technology's a pity yous aren't a detective!»

«Of course», the driver added, «your proper noun is on both your travelling bags. I can't pretend that that fact didn't help».

'THE GREATEST POET OF SCOTLAND'

Robert Burns (1759—1796) is Scotland's national poet and January 25 — the day of his birth — is always cele­brated in his country and all over the world, with nifty excitment. The celebrations are going on in every big metropolis and in a small-scale hamlet pub, in every remote cottage with workers and farmers dressed in kilts or in ordinary working dress.

The love for Burns is indeed a unique phenomenon. Most nations consider political or military men as their national heroes. Just Scotland, though she honours the retentivity of her two great national liberators, William Wallace and Robert Bruce, has adopted a poet as her true hero. Why is it so? I remember because Burns' poesy was very much consonant to people'southward aspirations. It was closely connected with the national struggle of the Scot­tish people for their liberation from English language oppression. Burns considered his literary work equally his patriotic duty.

Burns wrote many poems in English language, but his best verses are written in the dialect of his own state, Ay-shire. His best poems are The Jolly Beggars, Halloween, The Cotter'southward Saturday Nighttime, Holy Willie'due south Prayer, To a Mouse, The Two Dogs and others.

Burns travelled a lot near Scotland collecting pop folk songs. Many of his own lyrical poems were put to music. All in all he contributed 2000 songs to the Scots Musical Museum. So Robert Burns is considered to be the creator of the Scottish vocal. His songs are memorable for extraordinary truthfulness passion and lovely melody. They reflect the people'south soul and national character. The Poet'southward song Oh, My Dear is Like a Red Red Rose is one of the most loved lyrical songs. Many of songs he devoted to his wife, the adult female who had been the bully love of all his life and the in spirator of his numerous verses.

Burns' songs are the soul of music and it is non sur­prising that Beethoven, Schuman, Mendelssohn and others compose music to the poet's verses. Russian composers accept also set many of Burns' verses to music. The all-time known bicycle to Burns' songs accept been successfully writ­ten past Dmitri Shostakovich, Nikolai Myaskovsky, Juri Levitin, Mark Milman, Victor Oransky and a number of other composers. All songs are based on Marshak's trans­lations which are considered to be the best translations of Burns' verse into Russian

OBSERVING NATURE

If people advisedly discover nature it can tell them many interesting and useful things.

Do yous know that cheers to observing nature you tin forecast weather? «How?» you may enquire.

Past watching birds and animals, insects and flowers.    Information technology is known that   some  insects become more than  troublesome before a change in the atmospheric condition.  Flies and mosquitoes, for example, begin to hum and bite before the rain. Big blue-black beetles fly only on evenings earlier nice weather.

You should know that the smell of flowers in the gar­dens and in the parks is very stiff before it rains. Flowers have much sweet nectar before pelting and the nectar is good nutrient for insects. Then if you see insects flying over flowers in large numbers you should know that it may rain presently.

Birds and animals also help to forecast conditions. Birds fly lower than usual before it rains. If y'all happen to see a bird hiding its head nether its wing, it means that soon it will become colder.

Even your cat tin tell you what the weather will exist like. The cat washing backside the ears is telling you about the coming rain. Wait at the sky and it will tell you about the weather. A ruby-red evening sky tells of good weather the next day, to say cypher about a little yellow or green sky. A grey sunrise gives hope of a good twenty-four hours too. If y'all desire to fore­cast weather, you lot must know something well-nigh winds too.

The South wind brings moisture weather,
The North wind is wet and cold together,
The W wind e'er brings the states rain,
The East current of air blows it back over again.
Report nature, notice it and you'll empathize that it needs your love and protection.

'THE Blind MAN AND THE Slap-up ARTIST'

Every day in ane of the streets of Vienna you could run across a bullheaded homo playing the violin. His canis familiaris sat about him with a cap in his oral cavity. People, who were passing them, dropped coins into the cap.

One twenty-four hours, when the conditions was very cold, the human was playing for a long fourth dimension, merely nobody wanted to requite him annihilation. The poor human idea that he would have to get to bed without supper. He was and so tired and and so weak that he stopped playing.

At that moment a immature homo came uр to him and asked him why he stopped playing. The blind human said he had played for two hours simply nobodyr had given him anything. «Give me your violin. I shall help you», said the man. And with these words he began to play. He played so well that people began to gather and before long in that location was a big oversupply. Everybody was eager to heed to the fine music and to give thanks the young man for the pleasure.

Soon the cap was total of coin.
«I don't know how to thank you», said the blind man. «Who are you?»

«I am Paganini», was the answer.

"A Foreign PICTURE"

A rich American went to Paris and bought a very foreign motion picture painted past a stylish modern creative person. The American thought the picture was very fine because he had paid a lot of coin for it. Only when he came to his hotel and wanted to hang the motion-picture show up on the wall, he could not tell which was the top and which the bottom of the picture show. The American turned the flick this way and that, only still could not decide which was the top and which was the bottom.

And then he thought of a programme. He hung the painting in the dining-room and invited the artist to dinner. When the artist came, the American said nothing to him well-nigh the moving-picture show.

When the artist began to swallow his soup, he looked at the picture many times. When he began to swallow his fish, he put on his glasses and looked at the picture again. Before he began to eat his fruit, he got upwards and walked over to the pic to look at it more closely. At last when they began to drink their coffee, he understood that the picture was upside down.

«Why, my friend», he said, «my picture is hung upside down».
«Oh, is it?» said the American. «Why didn't you tell me and so at once?»
«Well, y'all see, I was not certain myself at get-go», said the artist.

"A SLAVE"

Murillo was a cracking painter in Spain. He painted beau­tiful pictures and he had many students.

One time he came to his studio and found a very beautiful film there. He asked his students who had painted that picture only nobody answered. Then he asked his slave Sebastian if he had seen somebody in the studio the dark before. The slave did not answer. When the night came and everybody went away Sebastian began to paint. He did not call back of the fourth dimension. Of a sudden he heard a dissonance behind him. When he turned round he saw Murillo and his students watch him quietly.

«Sebastian», cried Murillo, «you are a very proficient painter. How did you learn to paint?»

«You gave lessons to your students, and I heard them», answered the slave. Murillo understood that the slave was a very gifted painter, and so he gave him freedom and be­gan to work with his «slave» who was not a slave any longer.

'A   Breviloquent   ANSWER'

There was a time when the people of Hellenic republic were not united but instead there were several states each of which had its own ruler.

Some of the people in the southern part of the country were called Spartans and they were famous for their simple habits and their bravery.

The proper name of their state was Laconia, then they were sometimes called Lacons.

Ane of the foreign rules which the Spartans had was that they should speak briefly and never utilize more than words than were needed.

A brusque answer is often called laconic that is such an respond as a Lacon would give.

There was in the Northern office of Hellenic republic a country called Republic of macedonia. This state was at one time ruled by a king named Philip. Philip of Republic of macedonia wanted to get chief of all Hellenic republic. So he raised a great army and made war upon the other states, until nearly all of them were forced to call him their rex. And so he sent a alphabetic character to the Spartans in Laconia and said: «If I get down into your country, I will level your great city to the ground.»

In a few days an answer was brought back to him. When he opened the letter he found only one word written at that place.

That word was «If».

'A Cleaved VASE'

The beau was going to marry a beautiful girl.

One twenty-four hour period the girl said to him that the next day she would celebrate her altogether and invited him to her birthday party. The young human was eager to make her a nowadays, then he went to a gift shop. At that place he saw many cute things. Of all the things he specially liked the vases. Just they were very expensive, and as he had very footling money he had to exit the shop without buying anything.

Walking to the door he all of a sudden heard a noise: one of the vases fell on the floor and broke two pieces. A brilliant thought came to his mind. He came up to the counter and asked the salesman to wrap up the cleaved vase he wanted to buy.

The salesman got a fiddling surprised but did what the young man had asked him to do.

The young homo took the packet and went direct to the daughter's place. By the time he entered the room the guests had already gathered. Everybody was enjoying the party.

Some of the people were dancing, others were talking, joking and laughing. Proverb «Many happy returns of the day», the young homo told the girl that he had bought a small present for her. With these words he began to unwrap the parcel.

Suddenly he got pale and said. «I am afraid, I take broken information technology. There were so many people in the bus…» But when he unwrapped the parcel, he saw that the salesman had wrapped up each slice of the vase separately.

'A FUNNY STORY'

Once a man went to a shop and bought a pair of trousers. When he came home, he put the trousers on. And so he saw that they were likewise long for him.

And then he went to his wife and said:

«Please brand my trousers shorter, they are besides long for me, I cannot put them on.»

Simply the wife said: «I have no time now. I must wash the plates. It is late now, I shall do it tomorrow.»

The human being went to his daughter and asked her:

«Can y'all make my trousers shorter? I cannot put them on.»

«No, I cannot,» said the girl. «I must do my les­sons now. I shall do information technology tomorrow».
The human went to his sis, but she could non help him. She said: «I must make my clothes now. I shall do it tomorrow».
So the man went to bed and left his new trousers on a chair near his bed.

His wife done all the plates, came into the room, took the trousers, made them shorter and put them dorsum on the chair. When his daughter did her lessons, she came into his room, took the trousers and made them shorter. Late in the evening his sis came besides and made the trousers shorter.

The man got up at 7 o'clock in the morning. His married woman told him, «I have fabricated your trousers shorter; you can put them on». But when the homo put them on, he saw that they were too short for him and he could not clothing them.

'HIS FIRST Money'

Somebody once asked Mark Twain whether he could remember the first money he ever earned. «I remember quite well», the famous writer answered.
«It happened at school. Schoolboys in those days had very little respect for their teachers and even less for their desks. The boys used pens and pencils and even knives to draw stars and faces, or to write their names on their desks.
At last, the school principal said: «The next time everyone does such a matter, he will have to pay five dollars, or he will receive a beating in front of the whole school».

«Presently after that, I had to go to my father and ask him to give me 5 dollars. I was honest enough to explain that I could concur to receive a beating instead, simply he said: «No, I can't allow you to connect our name with such things. So I'll pay the 5 dollars. Simply y'all must suffer for what you have done. I'll give you lot the chirapsia here, at domicile».

«And so he beat me, and then gave me the five dollars to take to schoolhouse. Merely I decided that the chirapsia didn't hurt and so much, and another beating at school wouldn't exist worse.
Then I told them to give me a beating in forepart of the whole school, and I kept the five dollars. And that was the first coin I e'er earned».

'ONE More than FUNNY STORY'

One of Mark Twain'due south hobbies was fishing. He went fishing whenever he had a chance, even in the airtight season, when fishing was not immune anywhere in lakes and rivers. Similar all fishermen, he sometimes invented stories almost the number of fish he caught.

One hot mean solar day during the closed season, Marker Twain was fishing equally usual, under a low bridge. A human who was walking across the bridge happened to notice Mark Twain and began to picket him. At last he asked: «Have you. caught many fish?»

«Non nonetheless», Mark Twain answered. «I take merely just begun. Merely yesterday I caught thirty neat big fish hither».
«Y'all were very lucky», the man said. «Do you lot know who I am?»

«No», Mark Twain said. «I don't recollect I e'er happened to meet you lot before».

«I'm the fishing inspector in this place. Do you know that this is the airtight season?»

Mark Twain thought apace. He understood how foolish he had been. «Do you know who I am?» he asked aloud.

«No, of course not», answered the inspector.» «I am the biggest liar on the Mississippi», Mark Twain told him.

"ROBIN HOOD AND THE GOLDEN Pointer"

Robin Hood was a legendary hero who was well known and loved by the poor people of England. He lived in a forest far from the towns, and when the poor were oppressed by the rich, he helped them by giving them nutrient and shelter. The sheriffs tried to arrest him simply they did not succeed in doing and so.

Once the sheriff of North. decided to organize a shooting contest in social club to catch him because he knew Robin Hood to be a very practiced shot and was sure that he would take function in the competition by all ways. The prize was a gold pointer.

On learning about the forthcoming contest Robin Hood gathered his men and discussed whether they should take part in it. Finally it was decided that although the hazard of participating in the competition was smashing, they should all get, Robin Hood amongst them.

The twenty-four hour period of the contest was fine and clear. The boondocks was decorated with flags, and field for the competition was total of people. The sheriff looked for Robin Hood and his men everywhere. He knew that they were ever dressed in dark-green. To his disappointment, yet, he could not observe anybody who looked like them. The competition was won by a fellow dressed in reddish, who had come from a village with a whole company of immature men.

After receiving the prize the fellow left the town, and nobody e'er thought that it was Robin Hood. While leaving the boondocks Robin Hood shot an arrow through the sheriff's open window. There was a paper fastened to it with the post-obit words: «Robin Hood thanks the sheriff for the Gilt Arrow.»

Источник: Spoken English language. Интенсивный курс английской разговорной речи
Год выпуска: 1991 Автор: Ханникова Л. Н.

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Source: https://fortee.ru/2011/11/27/short-stories-for-reading/

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